Diary of a Working Mum

Why My 5-Year-Old Wants to Quit Dance Class —and Why I Worry

As a mother, I’ve always been motivated by my daughters wishes in regards to planning her extra cirricular activities at the weekend. When she started swimming lessons at age three, she thorughly enjoyed the first few lessons. However, soon after, she started to cry as we were heading out the door to swimming. Sometimes she would even have a meltdown. Looking back now, I did not connect the dots quickly enough, and put it down to tiredness. When we reached the leisure centre, she soon perked up and seemed happy enough. Then one Saturday, she stood in her bedroom, arms folded, with a pout that meant business. “I don’t want to go swimming anymore” she told us.

At first, I thought it was a phase. Kids are fickle, right? Maybe she was tired or had a bad day. But every Saturday, the battle intensified. She’d drag her feet, hide her swimming costume, but most commonly she would tell us that she felt sick. As her mother, I did not want her to think that quitting was the answer. I tried everything—bribes with her favourite thing-ice cream (bad mum, i know!), pep talks, and even sitting with her watching videos of her swimming that I had recorded on my mobile. Nothing worked. Her once-enthusiastic “I love swimming!” turned into a firm “I hate it.”

I felt torn. Part of me wanted to push her to stick it out—commitment is a valuable lesson, after all. But another part wondered if forcing her was doing more harm than good. She was only 3. I needed answers, so I dug deeper.

Listening to my daughter

One evening, I sat her down with her favorite stuffed bunny and asked, “Why don’t you like swimming anymore?” Her answer was simple but eye-opening: “It’s too hard, and everyone is better than me.” It turns out, the structured classes—complete with strict teachers and “perfect” older swimmers—felt too overwhelming.

I asked her if she would be willing to give it one more shot. She agreed. So the following Saturday, we set off to her swimming lesson. After getting her changed and walking her down to the pool, I made my way up to the observation booth where I could watch her. About five minutes in, the teacher had asked the children to perform a certain floating technique. All of the other children did it, and I could see the worry in my daughters face. She started to turn red, followed by bursting into tears in front of the whole group.

My heart shattered and I was riddled with guilt. I made my way back down to the pool, tol dher to come out and gave her the biggest cuddle, and told her she doesn’t have to come back to swimming. The relief and smile on her face told me I had made the right decision.

Fast Forward

My daughter started to show an interest in dancing at around age four. She had been watching YouTube videos of dance groups, and said she liked street dance. I quickly googled whether there were any such classes in our area. I was ecstatic to find out a local dance school offered street dance classes, and it was only a two minute drive away. I submitted the enrollemnet form, and took her along for her first class the following week. She absolutely loved it. Her confidence was growing, and her eagerness to progress was beautiful to watch. We went all out and bought her outfits and appropriate shoes. Only to find that three weeks later, she once again had decided she did not want to continue.

So we hung up the street dancing attire.

More recently, she wanted to uptake tap dancing and gymnastics. This time, I told her that we would not buy the shoes and gymnastics outfit until we were sure that she wanted to see it through. Sure enough, today, my daughter told me that she no longer wanted to attend dancing. She was tearful and seemed anxious. I asked her why she felt this way. Her reply was ‘I just don’t like it anymore’.

The question is- what would you do in this situation as a parent? Shoudl we insist that she continue, or accept that she is no longer interested and let her quit?

Cheerio

Ex