Diary of a Working Mum

How do you cope with it all?

From the moment I wake up, my to do list starts to take over my brain before i have even stood from the bed. As the mental list gets longer, my heart rate gets higher, and higher. I start to panic, my chest goes tight and I wonder how I will get through the day.

I think about my crammed work calendar, and whether I am doing well enough at work. I worry if i have met the targets, and met the quality standards. I ruminate about the school run, making sure we are on time, and facing thje daily struggle of getting my daughter to wash and brush her teeth. Then there is the cleaning that needs doing. I look around the house and only see the things that need doing, the chiped paint ont he radiato drives me insane and the draws full of clutter occupy my thoughts daily. I try to ignore the laundry basket that is overflowing, despite doing gazillion loads daily. Then i remember that the weekly food shop needs doing, and that the meals need planning and cooking.

Not to mention the stay and play sessions at school, parents evenings and assemblies I am expected to attend (and want to). I cringe as I think about asking my manager for yet another two hours off to attend these events, and worry I will get a reputation as being unreliable. What’s a mother to do, I often ask myself. My five year old daughter put so much effort into her school plays and works so hard on her achievements, but then to be faced with the fact that I am not in attendance would be crippling to her, and me.

Then the dog reminds me that I need to find time to take her for a walk. Oh, and I need to make sure the dog has her monthly groom booked in, and make sure that I remember to administer her flea and worming treatments each month.

The most important thing for me to prioritise is spending quality time with my daughter. Working 8 hours per day and running the household limits when this can be done. So as a family we dedicate weekends to making memories and simply just being together. More often than not, we are absolutley shattered. However we know that our daughter deserves a childhood where she will have memories of being truly present with her parents. Her beautiful character and presence is what gets us through!

Last on the list is my own personal care. I try to find time to exercise and journal, but as any parent wll know, our needs are often at the bottom of the pile.

Not to mention the appointments I need to book, and the time I need to find to help my daughter with her homework.

By the time I have stood from the bed and walked to the bathroom, I am in an anxious mess and this sets the tone for my day. I am often snappy towards others and I am not able to feel joy at times when I know I should.

My overriding emotion is always guilt. Everytime my daughter asks me to play with her, I am always doing something that is necessary to ensure the home continues to function. Whether that be carrying piles of dirty clothes to the washer, putting clean clothing away or making sure the bathroom is not a health hazard, I often have to say no to her. That kills me inside. But I always go back to her when I have finished, and play with her for as long as she wants. My worst fear is that she will grow up thinking that I ignored her needs as I was too busy doing other things.

My friends and I often share our distress with modern day life with each other. Many of our households as children were one income households and the mother stayed home. It worked brilliantly, and on the whole we had less stressed, and more emotionally available mothers, who had the time and energy to nurture a family.

Those emotionally available mothers are now often taking on extra childcare duties, but this time as grandmothers. Our working commitments often mean we need someone to care for our child whilst we go and earn a crust. Of course, not many of us can afford childcare, so grandparents (thankfully) step in and support us with this. For me, this is another stressor weighing on me. They should be enjoying their retirement and being grandparents who can swing by as they please.

It would be nice to hear your situations, and how you cope!

Cheerio

E x